A Few Football Funnies to Get Us Started….
There’s nothing wrong with good ol’ fashioned laughter. In fact, I’ve heard that laughter is what makes babies cry and angels knit square halos out of chicken strips. That being said, have yourself a good belly-laugh at least once / year or so….just to keep the blood pumping. Here…try these…
Two University of Michigan football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a _________.”
Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. After making sure the professor wasn’t watching…….
BUBBA: (to the other football player) “Pssst. Tiny. What’s the answer to the last question?”
TINY: (laughing) “Bubba, you’re so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm.”
BUBBA: “Oh yeah, I remember now.” (pause) “Tiny, how do you spell farm?”
TINY: “You are really dumb, Bubba, that’s so easy. Everyone knows that ‘farm’ is spelled ‘E-I-E-I-O.’”.
A football coach walked into the changing room before a game. He looked over to his new signing and said, ‘I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed arithmetic, but we need you to be in the team. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right then you will be allowed to play.’
The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, ‘Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?’
The player thought for a moment and then answered, ’4?’
‘Did you say 4?’ the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it correct.
Suddenly all the other players on the team began shouting…, ‘Come on coach, give him another chance!’
A guy took his girlfriend–a knockout beautiful blonde–to her first football game. They had great seats just behind their home team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied. “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles. One thing I just couldn’t understand, though, is why they were trying to kill each other over a measly 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “Twenty-five cents? What do you mean?” “Well,” she began, “at the beginning of the game, they flipped a coin. One team got it and then for the rest of the game the other team kept screaming ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ All I could think was, ‘Helloooooo! It’s only 25 cents!’”
THANK YOU! I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress!
–The Management
